I never thought I’d be one of those people who obsesses about food. Never say never. I have now become one of those people who will bring my own bunch of bananas on a visit to my grandmother’s house, even though I know full well that she will have bananas there. Hers might not be just right you see, and then what would I do? Oh, and I brought my own peanut butter, too, to put on my own bananas, because I just know her peanut butter wouldn’t be just right. And then I’d REALLY be in a pickle. Which reminds me, I should probably bring my own pickles…

I’ve got a wacky set of new dietary restrictions, you see, which means that even in a household overflowing with food, I might just starve if I don’t fend for myself. When friends invite me over for dinner, I bring my own dinner but join them for the company. When friends invite me along to go out to eat, I either decline or eat first and then hang out with them while they eat.

Why? Because I’m no longer allowed to eat most of what goes into a normal meal. No grains at all, no sugars but fruit and honey (no fake sugars), no dairy except for a few special cheeses and special yogurt that I have to make myself (because it has to culture for at least 24 hours), no canned things, and no starchy things like potatoes or corn. So yes, I’ve become a true carnivore.

I eat meat and veggies and nuts and fruit, and bananas have to have speckles on them or else they have the wrong kinds of sugars/starches in them. And I can eat some specific dried beans but only if they’ve been prepared a certain way. So it’s not the end of the world, but I have to be so very strict about everything that it’s just easier if I have complete control over every ingredient.

And so I brought my own bananas to Grandma’s house, because what if hers aren’t speckaldy right now? Then what would I put my just-peanuts peanut-butter on? Then what would I eat for breakfast?

So if you see me pondering bananas at the co-op, you’ll know what I’m weighing. How many more days will my stash at home last? Will this bunch be speckaldy by then? Will this bunch be just the right size to eat while it’s speckaldy but before it rots? Oh, and will I run out of nuts to munch on before I need more bananas? Because if so I should really restock the nut supply today…