The crab apple tree in the front yard has outdone itself welcoming its new tenants to the apartment. It burst into unbelievable bloom this spring, and shepherded its weighty crop of miniature apples to maturity throughout the summer and fall.

And now, they’re ripe, and the birds and the squirrels are gorging themselves on the fruit. Robins fling themselves awkwardly at the higher branches, and you can just see their jealousy of the birds that are more accustomed to perching while they eat. Squirrels hunker down in the middle of a particularly crowded clump of fruit and stuff fruit into their mouths methodically, mechanically, eyes glazed over.

The evidence of their overindulgence is splattered all over the ground under the surrounding trees on the block. Pinkish, gritty diarrhea, all over everything.

Don’t park on my block. For real.