Spring arrived. Official spring, that is, as well as a few promising leaf buds on some of the braver trees. Two steps forward.
But here in my world our long winter refuses retreat peacefully to its arctic summer home. A weekend snowstorm made driving an exercise in bravado in the near-white-out conditions. Another snow storm is coming in a couple of days. One step back.
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Meanwhile, I’ve been getting stronger. Sure there are lots of difficult days, and not every day is better than the last, but compared to a year ago things are better. Sometimes I can even walk for a mile at a time. And so, in a fit of optimism, I bought the Wii Fit set. I’ve heard lovely stories about games that get you moving without feeling strenuous. That seems right up my alley. Two steps forward.
It arrived just as I hit a goodly slump; I was too wiped out even to open the Amazon box for a week much less unpack the game. But things are getting on a more even keel now, so I spent some time opening a couple weeks’ worth of mail. And the Wii Fit set. I was a little dismayed that part of the installation process involved it calculating my BMI and my basic coordination skills. I was more dismayed when the cheerful music accompanied the happy announcement that the Wii considers me to be among the population “least likely to get sick.” Shut up, Wii. Keep your cheerful music and your boundless optimism to yourself. In fact, go sit in that corner and think for a while on the error of your ways. One step back.
Just wait til the animated Wii board asks “Do you want to hear a fitness tip!?” and when you say “No”, because really, you just want to throw snowballs and hula hoop, it gets all sad and droopy. I stared at it in disbelief, thinking that my exercise video game is employing social guilt to get me to do things I don’t want to do, and how is this progress? I’ve decided to think about it like Marvin in The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy: it’s just off-kilter to reality, will always be thusly, and I couldn’t possibly make it happy if I tried.
Oh dear. I felt bad enough about basically telling it I had no goals. I’ll never bear up under the guilt of a droopy Wii board!
Although, forewarned is forearmed, as they say. If I name it Marvin I might make it. Either that or Eeyore.
No, the worst is when you go off to a conference, come back a week later and get scolded for it. And then you start avoiding it, until eventually you have it shoved underneath the TV stand and refuse to look it in the eye, like when you run into an ex in a bar, six months after the fight that led to the breakup. The fight that you started.
Yeah, like that, only much more emotionally involved, at least on my part. ;)
Yeow. And here I was just wanting to throw snowballs and guide a ball through a labyrinth.
1. I tried to think about the happy children burrowing through the snow – you know, the ones you wrote about a while back – when I saw snow outside this morning.
2. Yay for the Wii Fit! You can get over hurting its feelings. Phrases like, “Do you know it’s been 47 days since your last session?” become easier and easier to ignore. And your lack of a goal is probably less troubling than my persistent weight gain goals. I know it’s pained that I keep ignoring its advice, even though it puts on a cheerful face and proclaims “Great!” every time I make a new goal. If only there were an option to let it know about pregnancy… And I really like the ball/labyrinth game.