I bring you: Silence.
If feel like I must get less email than pretty much everyone I know. Like most of the time when people talk about how much email they get in a day I nod and commiserate and hope they don’t notice that I don’t say “Oh me too!” Maybe something’s wrong with me? Maybe I’m not on enough projects? MAYBE MY STUDENTS DON’T NEED ME??
Not that I want more email, of course. Then I’d never be able to keep up.
Basically, I’m impossible to please.