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Inwardly Dying

I made a fool of myself today. I guess that’s what happens when your brain goes into hiding to avoid the abuse to which you’re subjecting it after several LONG days, several longer nights (sleeping on plastic mattresses wrapped in polyester sheets really isn’t doing it for me), and all meals consisting of a choice of pizza, pasta with red sauce, or meat and potatoes, plus a salad bar. (Seriously, they serve these same three choices lunch and dinner EVERY SINGLE DAY!!!!). But even so, I’m mortified.

I made a comment today that came out entirely wrong, almost the opposite of what I meant to say, and it sounded incoherent, stupid, judgmental. I’m trying to convince myself that people won’t remember this as their primary impression of me, but it’s just not working. It’s hard to forget stupid, judgmental people, especially when everyone’s tired enough to be moody and easily annoyed.